SHOULD WE REALLY TRUST REFEREES?

We recently asked Michael "The Mind" Paterson if he would like to contribute to our website. Late Monday night, we received the following un-edited email. Judging by his use of all caps, we can only assume that he was yelling at his computer the entire time he was typing. Here's what he had to get off his chest:

THERE IS A TIME-HONOURED TRADITION IN THE WRESTLING BUSINESS: OBEY THE RULES. AND THOSE RULES ARE ENFORCED BY WHO, YOU MAY ASK? REFEREES. GARBAGE HUMANOIDS IN THEIR STUPID STRIPED SHIRTS STICKING THEIR FINGERS IN THE FACES OF WRESTLING MANAGERS SINCE THE DAWN OF TIME. BUT SHOULD WE BE LISTENING TO THESE IDIOTS?

AS A WRESTLING MANAGER, I HAVE HAD MANY AN ENCOUNTER WITH THESE STRIPED STUPIDORES. I REMEMBER ONE TIME MY WRESTLER GOT DISQUALIFIED BECAUSE I HAD SUPPOSEDLY THREW BABY POWDER IN HIS OPPONENT’S FACE. FAKE NEWS PEOPLE!! WHAT HAD ACTUALLY HAPPENED WAS THAT I WAS TAKING A BREAK FROM MANAGING TO ENJOY SOME DELICIOUS COCAINE, THEN SAID COCAINE CAUGHT AN ERRANT BREEZE FROM INSIDE THE ARENA AND ACCIDENTALLY FLEW INTO THE FACE OF THAT JOBRONI MY WRESTLER WAS FIGHTING! THAT WAS EXPENSIVE COCAINE, PEOPLE! ALSO, WHY CAN’T I GET A BREAK SOMETIMES. YOU MOUTH-BREATHING LOTTERY TICKET BUYERS GET BREAKS AT YOUR JOBS? WHY CAN’T I?

WHAT I AM SAYING IS THAT MAYBE THESE REFEREES HAVE TOO MUCH POWER IN THE WRESTLING BUSINESS. I REMEMBER ONE TIME I WAS ON THE OUTSIDE OF THE RING JUST OBSERVING A MATCH MY WRESTLER WAS IN. SUDDENLY MY WRESTLER’S OPPONENT WAS HANDCUFFED TO THE BOTTOM ROPE. WHAT DID THE REFEREE DO? HE EJECTED ME FROM RINGSIDE BY GOODNESS!! SURE MY WRESTLER WAS STILL ABLE TO LAY THE BEAT DOWN ON THAT LOSER BUT I HAD TO WATCH IT FROM THE MONITOR BACKSTAGE!

I AM DEFINITELY NOT ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO BEGS FOR LAWLESSNESS, BUT IF FOR SOME REASON AN AUDIENCE MEMBER WERE TO PERPETRATE AN ACT OF VIOLENCE UPON A REFEREE… NOT THAT I WANT VIOLENCE… BUT HONESTLY, IF IT WERE TO A REFEREE? MAYBE THAT WOULDN’T BE SUCH A BAD THING.

AND OF COURSE THERE ARE SOME GOOD REFEREES. I REMEMBER ONE REFEREE THAT WAS DOING A TREMENDOUS JOB UNTIL HE WAS FIRED FOR TAKING BRIBES FROM ME. OR THAT REF WHO’S PET IGUANA GOT KIDNAPPED AND I FORCED HIM TO GET MY WRESTLERS TO WIN? I HAD TO FEED AN IGUANA FOR A MONTH UNTIL I GOT CAUGHT. WHAT I AM TRYING TO SAY IS THAT THE REFEREES ARE THE PROBLEM.

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO AGREE WITH ME IN THE COMMENTS. IF YOU HAVE OTHER VIEWS THAN MINE YOU CAN GO GET BENT!